I haven’t written on here for some time now. It is because I’ve been working on my book. I’m excited and terrified at the same time. That book is now ready. No more excuses. 😊

I was thinking about my journey today and how as much as I believe I’ve come a long way in mastering my emotions and responses to life, I still sometimes drop the ball. This is life reminding me of my humanity and how we are not just some machine but a delicate mix of emotions and many layers of history.

Some days I feel great, some days not so much. Some moments are okay moments while some are ground-open-up-and-swallow-me-now moments. I often if not always feel content and my biggest weapon is gratitude.

Emotions are at the core of our being. They’re our motivation, our muses. They determine how we respond to life and they are why we stand and fight or crumble and fall in the face of disappointment or disaster.

As powerful as emotions are in determining our outcomes and performances, emotions aren’t facts.

Feelings are never exact mirrors of our reality. It takes a lot of skill and growth to recognise this and still show up in life in our truest form, sidestepping every emotion, good or bad and to be the most authentic versions of ourselves.

Emotions are some of the reasons we dismiss evidences that we do not like or embrace the ones we do because they don’t align or alternatively support our preconceptions.

Emotions can lead us astray in different directions and unless we’re willing to pause and practice mindfulness, we will constantly be tossed back and forth by them.

While it is important to recognise, embrace and maybe even celebrate how we feel per time, we must also learn to compartmentalise and ensure that not only do we disallow our critical life decisions to be influenced by how we feel, but also our everyday existence and interactions.

If today you’re struggling with the thought of loneliness, that you’re not good enough or that you’re worthless, as intense as these feelings might be, they’re not necessarily true. Facts about a situation or even ourselves sometimes come from outside us, from our therapists, friends, family etc.

Allowing our minds to receive constructive feedback, data and evidences and also process them independent of our feelings which might still be present with us is a true test of emotional mastery.

Feelings are not facts. They give us information. They point us in a certain direction, they alert us and spur us into action. Yet as powerful as they are, they are not exact expressions of what is. They don’t always mirror our actual reality in absolute terms.

Something had happened with my children earlier this week and it made me cry so much. I felt a deep sense of guilt and also inadequacy. In a split second, I questioned many things I know to be true and my feelings sent me on a downward spiral. I didn’t think I was strong enough or even a good enough parent. It took my a minute to recalibrate and self-regulate.

I had to consciously remember what I know to be true. I’m not my feelings and my emotions do not reflect my truth. I may be angry but I’m not anger. I may feel helpless but I am not helpless. I may feel guilty but I am not guilty. Quickly recognizing that as intensely as I may be feeling all these emotions, I am not these emotions and they don’t represent the facts of my situation was responsible for how quickly I got my joy back.

So today if your feelings are making you draw conclusions about who you are, take a moment to reevaluate your facts and evidences. You will most likely come to a different realisation. You’re blessed indeed and you are not your feelings.